Dodge Charger



So, I picked up the Hertz Regional Manager from the airport. He just got back from a vacation golfing in Phoenix and "meetings" in Las Vegas. He was beat. We got to talking about future cars. I asked him when the new "Adrenaline Collection" cars (namely the Challenger R/T) are coming in. He estimated by the end of June. I helped him get his clubs into the trunk of a Camaro SS sitting in front of the Gold Board. It was no easy task, but the rear seats folded down and everything fit. He said "whenever the Challenger comes in, just give me a call and I'll set it up for you. I waited and waited, but no Challengers. I needed to rent a car for a day and decided to try the Charger. I picked a white one with the 17" five spoke wheels. I parked it where nobody would get it and picked it up at the end of my shift.

The first thing I noticed about the Charger was how angry the car looked. It's furrowed brow, broad muscular side lines, and aggressive stance made the Charger a car that you wouldn't want to mess with. The entire car seemed to be longer and wider than last year's Charger. Dodge finally made the Charger appear to be a full-size sedan. They alongated the trunk and cleaned up the overall profile of the car. This year's Charger has a more slick-backed windshield and added C pillar sails around the rear window (a throwback to the late 60's Charger). I love the taillight assembly. Dodge revived the "racetrack" shape taillights from the '69-'70 Charger but lined the assembly with 164 LEDs, providing an impressive lightshow at night. The big beef with the previous Chargers were always the high window sills. This year, Dodge downplayed the "urban tank" and lowered the window sills slightly. The window frames were blacked out and reminded me a lot of a Nissan Altima. All the Chargers get dual exhaust tips, which is pretty cool. As I mentioned before, my car was equipped with 17" five spoke alloy wheels with 215/65R17 Michelin radials. Other trim levels can come with 18" split-spoke wheels with P235/55R18 Michelin Touring tires and 20" wheels with different tire choices, including Goodyear Eagle F1 "Supercar" tires.

 My manager tried to get me in a Charger with the bigger center screen with navigation, but I figured that I wouldn't need it. I didn't like the 18" split spoke wheels, either. So, I sat in the white Charger and set all the seats and settings and whatnot. Right off the bat, I noticed a couple of things I didn't like. First, when both front seats are pushed all the way back, they don't line up. The Challenger is also this way. I still don't know why they did that. Secondly, my Charger didn't have Sirius or XM radio. As far as Hertz is concerned, only the Chargers with the bigger 8.6" center screen get Nav and Sirius. That brings me to another point. The center screen itself (mine was a 4.3" screen) is somewhat complicated to use. Dodge provides actual buttons below the screen, but they can only perform basic functions for the climate and radio. You can turn both systems off and on and adjust volume and tune (or hot and cold), but doing anything else would require using the mindless screen. I did enjoy the "vehicle settings" on the center screen. You can change stuff like daytime running lights and whether or not the horn should sound when you lock it. The dash was adorned with nice materials, compared to last year's model which was slathered in knurled plastic. The dash bezel is made of aluminum (the SRT8 has carbon fiber) and houses retro-styled gauges. I wasn't pleased with the little screen in between the gauges. You can select it to show either vehicle speed, fuel economy, trip or vehicle diagnostics. I wanted a screen where it would show vehicle speed, direction, time, temp, trip/odometer AND either instant or average fuel economy. Unfortunately, I could not get all of that. If I wanted to check my fuel economy, I had to change screens. Luckily, there are buttons on the front and back of the steering wheel spokes to prevent taking your hands off the wheel. The steering wheel is the standard three-spoke wheel seen in almost all Dodge cars and vans. The R/T gets a leather wrapped wheel. The seats were wrapped in a nice suede-ish cloth. Front and rear legroom was ample as well as cupholder and storage space. The trunk was big enough for the double stroller and groceries. I liked the USB and IPod plugs in the center console. Road noise was almost non-existent due to a laminated, noise-reducing windshield and dual-paned front side glass. The windowsills and armrests were sitting up a little higher than I like as was the hood. I feel comfortable seeing a hood in front of me, so it wasn't so bad. I felt like I was sitting behind the wheel of a '75 Electra 225, all sunk in and everything. The Charger has a push-button start. In the Challenger, one can remove the start button and use the "key" to turn the ignition. I didn't get a chance to find out if the Charger also does that.

The powerplant under the hood was a 3.6L Pentastar V6 with variable valve timing mated to a five speed automatic transmission that pumped out 292 horsepower. It had a lot of guts and was an exhilarating ride. I averaged 24 mpg for the day, but I wailed on the car, so I probably could have gotten better. Dodge also offers a 5.7L Hemi V8 engine that produces 370 horsepower and get 16 city/25 highway. The V8 incorporates FuelSaver Technology which shuts off four cylinders when not needed. The much anticipated Charger SRT8 will offer a 6.4L Hemi V8 producing 465 hp and 465 lb-ft of torque. The five-speed tranmission shifted on time and with confidence. The 3.5L V6 (250 hp) and 2.7L V6 (178 hp) from last year were dropped, saving price-minded buyers from having a car that seemed like it had hamsters under the hood.

My BIGGEST issue with the Charger is it's handling. Let's clear the air, first. The car can carve out a road like a Christmas turkey with almost no body roll or tire squeal. Cruising down the freeway at 110 is nothing. You feel like you're on the living room couch. You are in control the ENTIRE time... just as long as you don't do anything stupid. Granted, the Charger has outgrown it's hammerhead, teenage-punk adolescent stage and has become more like your dad riding shotgun. For example, the first time I tried to drift the car around a turn (and I had the traction control off), I floored the gas from a dead standstill. The tires lit up and protested all the way to the apex of the turn. The back end was trying to come around for an awesome power slide, but just after the apex, there was a loud CLUNK from the front right corner and the car magically righted itself, as though nothing had happened. I brought the car to the threshold of irresponsibility and the "Dad" persona of the Charger slammed the door in my face. The only other time I tried doing that was when I was returning the Dodge. I tried to powerslide around a couple of taxicabs and the car acted totally different. It just pushed right into the curb. I felt like I was driving a front-wheel drive Impala or something. I have never, in all my years of driving big rear-wheel drive sedans, encountered understeer on dry pavement. I slammed that curb with the front right wheel, scratching the rim, bending a tire rod, and denting my ego all at the same time. I drove the car down Bessie Coleman drive and let the wheel go. The car started a long arcing pull to the right. I sighed in relief since I had the insurance.

The kids seemed to enjoy the Charger. My wife drove it a couple of times and her complaint was that the car felt like it was doing 30 when she was doing 55. Also, she complained of the window sill, hood and armrest height. Her final complaint was the center screen, so I didn't feel so stupid that I had a hard time operating it.

It filled the vacuum that the Crown Victoria and Grand Marquis are leaving behind. I used to rent them all the time but was frustrated with the lack of Sirius radio, performance and efficiency. The Charger is just as big, rear wheel drive, has more power and gets better fuel economy than the Crown Victoria and has two less cylinders. The Ford Taurus  doesn't have anything on the Charger. The Taurus is front-wheel drive, ugly, and I think it's costlier. Compared to the Chevy Impala, the Charger is roomier, classier, and handles much better than the Chevy. Toyota doesn't have a comparable mode. The Charger would fall in between the outdated Camry and the expensive and boaty Avalon, both front drivers. A Nissan Maxima, VW Phaeton or a BMW 5 or 7 series would give the Charger a run for it's money, but are all more expensive.

With all that being said, I would not be suprised if the police agencies of the US, Canada and Mexico (if they can afford them) will turn to the Charger once the Crown Victorias get sold off as taxicabs. Dodge makes a couple of police packages, the "Pursuit" and "Enforcer" package. Let's put it this way, cars will pull over for the Charger even if the red and blues aren't on, solely because the Charger is such an intimidating vehicle.

To sum up the Charger, think of it like this. When it came out, it was skinny, ugly, angry, and unrefined. The 2012 Charger went to the gym, cleaned itself up, trained countless hours honing it's skills and road manners and went to anger management. It's ready to settle the score.

Stuff I submitted for an automotive journalist site

Dodge Charger

                If an extremely powerful muscle-clad assassin could be embodied in automotive form, he would be a 2012 Dodge Charger. The anger is almost palpable when one gazes upon its furrowed front end, muscular bodylines and aggressive stance. Even though it looks like a cage fighter on the outside, the Charger’s ninja-like powertrain, enables it to direct that anger and rage towards providing an exhilarating driving experience. It’s a Muscle car on the outside and a touring sedan on the inside. Imagine “The Hulk” but with the skills of James Bond.

Interior

                The interior of this year’s Charger is a marked improvement from last year’s model. Dodge replaced a lot of the plastic interior parts from the previous Charger with finer materials. The dashboard has an aluminum bezel and is adorned with retro styled gauges. In between the gauges lies a small screen that can display vehicle speed and fuel economy, among other things. The interior pillar trim is upholstered instead of plastic. The seats are slightly cushier and wrapped in a suede-like microfiber fabric . The front seats are a perfect middle ground between an unsupportive bench seat and a constricting racing seat. I found that the Charger provided plenty of leg room for all passengers, but the passenger front seat doesn’t slide back as far as the driver’s seat. The rear seat has token adjustable headrests and a folding center armrest. The rear seats fold down to allow for more trunk space. The center console is large and has IPod and USB ports as well as a 12 volt power port. Cupholders are in the perfect place and can be hidden by a sliding cover. The center stack contains either a 4.3” or an optional 8.6” touch screen that controls vehicle settings, radio, and climate. The 8.6“ screen has navigation and Sirius radio. For those who are partial to physical buttons, there are some under the screen for basic climate and radio functions. I liked the tilt and telescopic steering wheel which housed controls for the screen between the gauges, volume and tuning, and cruise control. The windows are bigger than last year’s Charger and the window sills are lower, providing better visibility. Some interesting features that come standard on the Charger are front side dual-paned glass and a laminated noise-absorbing windshield. The trunk was very spacious and easy to load and unload. Overall, the interior is spacious, comfortable, quiet, and felt like it was of better quality.

Exterior

                The Charger’s biggest improvement from last year and the most notable aspect is the exterior styling. It’s obvious that Dodge pulled a lot of styling cues from the second generation (late 60’s and early 70’s) Chargers. You won’t feel like the Duke Boys driving the General Lee, but the car gives off a heavy “muscle car” persona. The front end looks very similar to last year’s Charger, but the grille has been elongated, resembling a Shelby Cobra or a ’70 GTO. The headlight assemblies have been furrowed in to provide an angry expression to the front fascia. The Charger has broader shoulders and more muscular sidelines. The overall profile of the car has been improved from last year.  The window frames on the doors are set into the body and blacked out, mimicking a Nissan Altima. The rear window has developed the side sails that were common on the ’68-’70 Chargers. The trunk has been turned up slightly to complete the profile. By adjusting a few things from last year, the car appears long and sleek. The most recognizable feature, hands down, is the taillight assembly. The shape of the housing has been pulled directly from a ’69 Charger, but Dodge adorned the outer rim of the taillights with LEDs to bring it into the 21^st Century. If one ever had any doubts about whether it’s a 2012 Charger or not, just check the taillights. 

Engine

                The Charger’s engine is definitely the highlight of the driving experience. I was thoroughly impressed with my tester’s 3.6L V6 Pentastar engine, pumping out 292 horsepower. Dodge states that the V6 gets 18 mpg in the city and 26 on the highway. I averaged 24 mpg for the day. Dodge also offers a 5.7L Hemi V8 engine that produces 370 horsepower and get 16 city/25 highway. The V8 incorporates FuelSaver Technology which shuts off four cylinders when not needed. The much anticipated Charger SRT8 will offer a 6.4L Hemi V8 producing 465 hp and 465 lb-ft of torque. All the engines are mated to a five-speed automatic transmission. The transmission shifts smoothly and on time. The 3.5L V6 (250 hp) and 2.7L V6 (178 hp) from last year were dropped, saving price-minded buyers from having to endure a four thousand pound car with an inadequate powerplant.

Handling

                The Charger is definitely more refined than last year’s model when it comes to its road manners. At 110 mph, the car is straight and true. Cornering is crisp and precise. The body roll is non-existent when slicing around turns. Although it is rear wheel drive, it’s a far cry from the late 60’s Chargers. The car will not allow for any oversteer. The Charger is very confident at all speeds and conditions. Tire and wheel combinations come in 17”, 18” or 20” sizes. My tester had 17” 5-spoke alloy wheels with 215/65R17 Michelin tires. A couple of 20” wheel styles are offered in the “Performance Package”. The “Super Track Package” offers 20” Eagle F1 Supercar tires for superb grip. Up front, the Charger has a double-wishbone suspension with coil-over shocks and a multi-link independent rear suspension. All wheel drive comes optional, but without the extra ride height from last year’s model. The steering is quicker and more responsive. Dodge reduced the turns lock to lock from 2.8 to 2.5. The wheelbase stayed at 120”. The V6 Charger weighs in at 4150 lbs and the V8 adds 100 lbs. Overall, despite the Charger’s muscle car appearance, it handled like a European touring sedan.

Overview

                I was impressed with the Charger on multiple levels. It’s an extremely attractive car recalling its muscle car heritage. The fit and finish, both inside and out, are impeccable. Although my tester had only a V6, it provided plenty of horsepower and crisp acceleration. Handling is concise and exhilarating. I was upset that my tester didn’t have Sirius radio. Apparently, when one has the 4.3” screen, Sirius isn’t included. I should have gone with the Charger with the 18” wheels and 8.6” screen. The screen is complicated to use. Dodge gives token buttons that can control basic audio and climate functions, but you NEED the screen to run most functions. Also, I’m sure Dodge had a good reason for not letting the passenger seat slide back as far as the driver’s seat. The window sills still seem to be too high, although they are lower than last year’s model. Understeer was a problem when you power into the turns too hard.

The Charger has no real “natural predators” in the American market. The Crown Victoria, Grand Marquis, and Town Car the only other cars that fall into the rear-wheel drive, full-size, American sedan market. None of those vehicles can match the Charger in any aspect except interior and trunk space. I was pleased to see that Dodge is offering a couple of police package models. The “Enforcer” and “Pursuit” package cars look like they will be V8s with all the performance options and no luxury frills. I expect that once the Crown Victoria is gone and police agencies start looking for replacements, the Charger will be the weapon of choice. The Charger is offered in three trim levels, the SE, R/T and SRT8 (not yet available) and ranges in prices from $25K to $55K. Overall, it’s a very capable sedan. It has impressive acceleration, crisp handling, a spacious and quiet interior, and a refined muscle car exterior. It has successfully passed its anger management courses and has matured from its rage-filled, teenage punk predecessor.

Cadillac DTS

                Cadillac. The mere utterance of the name invokes visions of Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, and Johnny Cash. Cadillac was the biggest brand name that could be directly associated with the height of American technology and the epitome of pure pomp and decadence. You could take your ’59 Eldorado and drive it ANYWHERE in the world and it would be instantly recognizable as a Cadillac. They were highly sought after by executives, royalty, and celebrities. Flash forward forty years and you will find an entirely different story. One hardly hears the word “Cadillac” anymore. Now, the Escalade is the new term. The car that symbolized the pinnacle of American success has been replaced with a truck.  Mercedes, BMW, Lexus, Infiniti and even Hyundai are replacing the “Cadillac Car” as the big, decadent luxury sedan. The difference is that those companies let their customers have their cake and eat it too, by adding superb handling to the “American Luxury Car Formula.” The result is a fast, big sedan with all the bells and whistles but with the ability to handle corners at high speeds. Basically, the luxury car has evolved and Cadillac has not received the evolutionary memo.

Interior

                The DTS’ strongpoint is definitely its interior. The Cadillac engineers designed this interior to coddle the DTS’ occupants in every aspect. Leather power seats with power lumbar, heated and vented seats, and power massage are optional for front and rear seats as well as driver memory settings and a heated steering wheel. Triple climate control, sunroof, power tilt and telescopic steering wheel, navigation, and XM radio are all options that cater to the DTS occupant’s every whim. No expense was spared and it shows. The gauges and center stack were easy to read and use and were laid out in a smart fashion. Cadillac equips the DTS with a standard 40/20/40 split bench in front with a column shift, but my tester had buckets in front with a center console and shifter. I enjoyed the spacious console and cupholders. My tester did not have the large navigation screen found in higher trim levels. Front and rear seat room was more than ample. The trunk is fairly large for a sedan of this size. The cabin is smooth and quiet, separating the driver from the outside world. The windows are large and spacious to properly view the world that you are no longer a part of.

Exterior

                 The DTS is a sharp looking car. Straight, clean lines are the common theme on the big Cadillac. The big square front bumper gives the DTS a wide, prominent nose. The grille is slicked back from the bumper, just slightly to stay away from the straight up “Alcatraz” grilles found on the 70’s and 80’s Cadillacs. Gm brought a few styling cues from the 60’s, such as the stacked headlights and vertical taillights. There is a thin strip of chrome running along the beltline of the doors as well as around the side windows. Gm designers played it safe and downplayed the use of chrome. The trunk retains the familiar boxiness of the Cadillacs of yore. The vertical taillights are all LEDs and provide an impressive light show at night. There is a single strip of chrome on the trunk lip which seems to sit onto of an equally squarish rear bumper. Cadillac offers a slew of tacky options and add-ons after the car is purchased. Vinyl tops, fender spears, Continental kits, whitewall tires, fender skirts, and even a convertible kit can be installed on your DTS from a local body shop or coach builder. My tester was a mid-trim level car without any extra add-ons or dressing. Overall, the DTS can be described as being conservatively styled.

Engine

                I was impressed with the engine. The 4.6L V8 produced 275 horsepower and 295 lb-ft of torque. On the “Platinum” trim level, the engine is tuned to get 292 horsepower and 288 lb-ft of torque. The DTS can go from 0 to 60 in 7 seconds flat. The four-speed transmission shifted fine for me, but the standard for today’s luxury sedan is a five-speed or six-speed automatic transmission.

Handling

                Most of the DTS suspension parts are identical to the Chevrolet Impala. The suspension system in the current model DTS remained virtually unchained since the late 90’s. Up front the Cadillac sports Macpherson struts and an independent rear suspension in back. The Cadillac corners fairly well with help from Magnetic Stability Control. Tires and wheels come in 17” or 18” with a few selections for wheel design. The highway is where the Cadillac shines. Cruising is a smooth and relaxing experience, which is expected from a Cadillac.

Overview

                I was rather pleased with the DTS. Unfortunately, I keep comparing it to older Cadillac that I used to own. You can’t compare a ’11 DTS with a ’79 Fleetwood. Compared to a ’10 Town Car, the Cadillac out maneuvers and out accelerates the Lincoln. Surprisingly, the Lincoln has a better turning radius than the DTS, even though it’s the larger of the two vehicles. The Lincoln has a larger interior and trunkspace. When comparing it to any other luxury sedan, the DTS is outclassed. A four-speed automatic transmission is not enough to compete with cars that cruise the Autobahn on a day-to-day basis. Another thing I didn’t like about the DTS is the sloping, low-profile front end. It seems that, from the firewall forward, the front end doesn’t match the rest of the car. I did notice a lot of parts held over from the Impala and Lucerne as well as from previous DTS models. The steering column and radio are two prime examples. I would also like to have seen the DTS in rear wheel drive. Front wheel drive seems rather cheap and uncouth for a car as sophisticated as a Cadillac.

                The Cadillac comes in four trim levels Base, Luxury, Premium, and Platinum. Prices range from $41,335 to $59,875.

Conclusion

In a way, the DTS has lost some of its identity, sacrificing “American” luxury ideals for a more “European” luxury mindframe. As for being Cadillac’s flagship, I found it wanting. I kept expecting more but was always left disappointed, except in the horsepower department. The DTS’ strong suit, hands down, is catering to the passengers. Ride control, entertainment and sound dampening turn the DTS into an “Automotive Concierge”, making sure your pillow is fluffed, your butt is warm and you are separated from the rest of the outside world. 

Chevrolet Suburban

                Think fast!  Friday, you need to use a tow dolly to drag your big old Crown Victoria home. Saturday, you want to show your nephews, who just came in from Italy, “real” American cars at the Volo Auto museum. Sunday, tons of Indian food, baby equipment, party supplies and prizes have to be shipped down to a picnic area on the other side of town for your son’s first birthday party that starts in two hours. What vehicle do you chose? MY choice was a big white Chevrolet Suburban 1500 LT with 4x4. The Suburban and I were in for a LONG weekend.

Interior

                The interior was one of the things I enjoyed about the truck. My tester was an LT (Suburban came in three trim levels, the LS, LT, and LTZ), so it had leather bucket seats in front with a center console, power gas and brake pedals, rear audio and climate controls and a DVD player in back. The dashboard was trimmed out with simulated wood paneling and the gauge cluster was well thought out and easy to read. The center stack was a little harder to decipher, though. Once I familiarized myself with the controls, things were pretty easy. The radio is a typical GM radio, found in the Impalas, Lucernes and the like. Setting six pages of favorites to the radio was a task. The XM radio was the HIGHLIGHT of the entertainment center for me, considering my wife’s Corolla only has Am/FM and a CD player. I was also surprised, and extremely pleased to see auxiliary and USB IPod jacks in the center console. I could not decide whether to listen to Blue Collar Comedy on XM or all my favorite music on the IPod. Either way, when you have your IPod connected, it can be stowed in the console, out of sight and out of mind. One problem I came across with other Suburbans is that the USB port would fail on numerous models. One of the fellow mechanics that I used to work with at Hertz informed me that it is a VERY common problem and as far as rental cars go, even if somebody complains, the truck gets rented again.

                The kids loved the rear DVD player, but as a dad, I was hoping they would look out the windows for entertainment. At 2  and 3 years old, I do not want them hooked on TV everywhere they go. Regardless, they did enjoy it. They kept cool in the 2^nd row with their own climate control and audio controls. The 2^nd row was a bench seat, so I could keep my daughter behind the driver’s seat and my son in the center seat. This allowed the passenger side seat to be free so it can be flipped down for 3^rd row entry. This cannot be done in the LTZ Suburban, Escalade or Yukon which all have bucket seats in the 2^nd row. I found out recently that the Suburban does offer a front 40/20/40 split bench seat that I would’ve killed for. That would have increased the seating capacity to nine passengers instead of eight. There was one point where I needed that extra seat and did not have it in the Suburban LT. Since it was a rental truck, the bucket front seats were all I could choose from. I loved the sunroof, as well.

Exterior

                The Suburban’s most prominent feature is its size. When I first approached the truck, I was instantly impressed by its looming presence. There is not too much to say about the exterior of the SUV. It is exactly the same as last year’s model. The front end is very conservative compared to its Yukon, Yukon XL, Escalade and Escalade ESV brethren, which all sport a front end which resembles a cowcatcher on the front of a locomotive that is the awful signature of all the Cadillac models out there.  My tester was white with the 17” alloy wheels with 265/70R17 Goodyear Wrangler tires. Suburbans came with 17”, 18”, 20”, or 22” tire and wheel assemblies of various styles and finishes.

Powertrain

                The 5.3L V8 was very impressive. It provided a lot of power and also sounded really cool. The Suburban did not feel as big as it appeared. The 5.3L V8 produced 320 horsepower and 335 lb-ft of torque. Hertz doesn’t have the optional 6.0L V8 which would produce 352 hp and 382 lb-ft of torque. My tester DID have four wheel drive, which I did not use, but I figured it would come in handy during a hard Chicago winter. The engine does have a Flex-Fuel option and I should have used it when I returned the truck. E85 is cheaper around the O’Hare airport and it would have made the refueling process less painful. I used a half of a tank of gas and refilling it at $3.50 per gallon (at the time) cost me more than $50. I could have saved $5 or $10 if I had filled up with E85.

                That brings me to the one bad thing about the Suburban. I calculated my average fuel economy as 16 mpg. This is not too bad compared to an ’81 or ’91 Suburban. Compared to other full-size SUVs on the market today, it is fairly average. GM states that a two wheel drive Suburban gets 15 in the city and 21 on the highway. All engines come with GMs Active fuel Management System which shuts off four cylinders when the power is not required, on the highway, for instance. A six-speed automatic transmission is standard on all models. I used the Suburban for towing a tow dolly and my 1990 Ford LTD Crown Victoria (the car weighs in at 3800 lbs). The Suburban can tow 7500 lbs comfortably, but anything more will require the 2500 series with the 6 liter. The 2500 can tow 9600 lbs without disgracing itself.

Handling

                The truck handled like a Suburban. The large truck was smooth as silk at all speeds. Unloaded, it was fairly nimble for a full-size, long-body SUV. When you load up the 137 cubic feet of storage with people or cargo, the handling suffers slightly. The truck never had any REAL handling problems when loaded, but it can hardly be called “nimble.” At 5797 lbs (about the same as a ’68 Chrysler Imperial or Lincoln Continental) curb weight and 7400 lbs gross vehicle weight, it is a wonder that the truck does not handle like a bread truck. The suspension was pretty much the same as an '80s GM station wagon, four coils springs all around and double wishbone suspension up front. The turning radius is average size for a 224” long truck.

Comparisons

                Compared to the Ford Expedition (its only REAL competitor), the Suburban comes out on top in my opinion. The Suburban outperforms, handles better and looks better than the Expedition. The Lincoln Navigator is a more stylish than the Expedition and Suburban, but the Navigator is in a separate class and is equivalent to the Cadillac Escalade, which outperforms the Navigator. The one thing that Ford has that is superior to the GM crowd is the folding 2^nd and 3^rd seats. The Expedition and Navigator have folding rear seats that when folded, lay flat and provide a flat loading surface. The Navigator and some Expeditions have power folding 3^rd row seats. The GM, on the other hand has seats that fold down, but are still standing above the floor. You can further fold the seats up and provide more of a floor space, but if you needed to match the Ford’s floor space, you would have to fold down and up both 2^nd and 3^rd row seats and remove the seats, themselves. This is a long and annoying process. Even after all the seats are removed, the seat tracks still protrude from the floor by a fraction of an inch. I find it humorous that GM, the leader in stowage in the 70’s and 80’s, could settle for such a system. Take the ’71 to ’76 full-size GM station wagons for example. They devised a system where both 2^nd and 3^rd row seat folds down to provide a flat surface and furthermore, they set it up so that the tailgate slides under the floor and window glass slides into the ceiling. The owner gets a flat loading surface and no protruding liftgate, liftglass, or tailgate.  When comparing the Suburban to its GM counterparts, it comes out on top, in my opinion due to its exterior styling, second and third row bench seat and its larger wheelbase.

Conclusion

                Starting at $41000 and topping out at $53000 for the LTZ Suburban, the truck is reasonably priced. My Suburban 1500 LT 4x4 cost about $45000. For its 7500 lbs towing capacity and 137 cubic feet of cargo, the truck is worth the sticker price. The interior is well built, comfortable and has a lot of entertaining gadgets. The exterior is very conservative, but it is an attractive truck. The engine is powerful for the size and weight of the vehicle. Finally, the handling is slightly above average for a full-size SUV. If you find yourself in frequent situations requiring the transportation of lots of cargo, people, or any kind of towing application, then a Suburban would be a smart buy.

Demolition derby

I was reminiscing the other day and the first demolition derby I drove in came to mind.

My cousin James had an '88 Dodge Dynasty with a 3.0L V6 engine. He decided to get rid of it when the transmission went out. It went into "Limp Mode" so that only second and reverse would work. Since the engine was healthy and it went forwards and backwards, I figured I'd derby it. I paid him $75 and agreed that he could ride shotgun during the race.

I worked long and hard on the Dodge. I started with the most important things, the gas tank and battery. Both have to be moved and that is the hardest part of the build. I pulled the back seat and cut the gas tank from underneath. After installing and strapping it down where the rear seat went, I drilled a hole in the floor so the electrical and fuel lines can come through. The battery was a little easier. I drilled another hole in the floor and ran cable extensions from the stock cables. The battery sat in between the front seats, down in the footwell. Then, came the fun part. The taillights came out, exhaust was cut off after the cat, the trunk carpet and spare came next. The headlights were pulled and two triangle holes were cut in the hood to allow the fire extinguisher in. I chose triangles because they look almost stock. I busted the windows with a sledge and that brought on the second hardest stage in the build, cleaning the glass. The windshield stayed in. I didn't want to get into cleaning that up. I had mounted a set of 195/75R14 whitewall mud tires on the front wheels. They came off a '78 Cutlass. We used only white paint. My number has always been 55 since the track is the only place that I can actually drive 55. I used my usual slogans like "Die trying" and "Kill 'em all" and "save the world, kill yourself". I painted "Road Warrior" on the front fenders and my "Suicide Squad" logo, which is a guy shooting himself in the head. On the roof, I painted my TV head guy. It's a guy in a suit with a TV for a head, usually holding a weapon. That year, it was a flamethrower. I chained the doors shut and locked them and the car was ready.

My Cousin Mike kept telling me to bolt the hood and trunk down. I didn't listen. I just wanted it done. I rented a tow dolly and hitched it to the back of my Caprice. Tomorrow would be a wild day.

I got everyone up at 6am. I wanted to be there early in case something went wrong. Even though the sun was just coming up, it was already warm. I was hungry and thirsty, but I wanted to get there at all costs. The whipped old Caprice pulled the dolly nicely, despite the 394000 miles on the odometer. I drank a ton of water that day, not realizing that it would sap all my electrolytes. I was already feeling weary.

We sat on lawn chairs, myself, James, and Mike. I checked and double checked the gas and battery. I started the car every hour to make sure nothing strange would happen. I wasn't gonna wait another year because of something stupid. all systems were go. It seemed like eons had rolled by when 11am came around. The stands were filled with eager fans. My parents, cousins, coworkers, friends, my boss, and most of the people in Lake County were there.

The announcer was talking to the crowd as another hour went by. We were slated to be in the first race, just the way I wanted it. I surveyed the other cars in our heat. ALL of them were big GMs and Fords from the 70s and 80s. Half of the 12 cars were station wagons. The scariest one was a '76 Grand Marquis painted all black. We were the smallest car in our heat, and in the entire derby. I can't remember if compact cars had their own race, but for the full-size guys, we were the underdogs. Finally, he asked everyone to rise for the national anthem. I stood, with my hat on my chest as the rockets red blare and bombs bursted in air. With 9/11 still relatively fresh on everyone's minds (it was 2003), it still hit home. The song ended and we were given the signal to saddle up.

I had never been so nervous in my whole life. There was a crushing pain in my chest and my heart was in my throat. I felt lightheaded as I opened the driver's door and hopped inside. James did the same and we slammed and locked the doors. The chains went around and helmets went on. With the exhaust gone, the engine noise was deafening. I had to read the tach to make sure the engine was still running. We looked at each other as the flagman waved us into the arena. We were the first car on the track on the first heat of the Lake County Fair for 2003. The flagman yelled something to me through the window and I think it was "Go park in the corner", but I'm not sure. I pulled into the middle of the track and decided to show off. I slammed the car in reverse and did a reverse donut. The crowd went crazy. They were really hyped up. I pulled into the corner, banging on the hood as the mighty, little V6 pulled us along. I adjusted the rearview mirror on the windshield. We both turned back to see what else was coming on the track. The Caprices, Crown Victorias and Cadillac entered the track. I saw that monster Mercury saunter onto the track. It drove like a mastodon through a tarpit with it's worn out whitewall street tires. It parked on the other side of the track with it's back bumper facing our back bumper. The driver turned around and made a gesture like he shot us. I gulped.

I turned around and ran through my strategy. Keep moving, float like a Cadillac, sting like a Beemer. My secret weapon was agility. A smaller car traveling at a faster velocity should equal a greater force, right? I actually asked myself that question, idling on the track. "Right?"

The announcer started counting down. "5..." The crowd counted with them. "4..." All I could hear was the roar of the crowd, the idling of the engine, the nagging fears, the worry, the angst... "3..." My cousin turned to me and yelled something. He had an expression of a deranged man. The anticipation of doing something that most people would never have thought of doing in there entire lifetime, the opportunity to act so irresponsibly and reckless, was overwhelmingly. "2..." My throat was dry, my head pounding, my hands gripped the steering wheel so hard, my knuckles were white. "1..." I revved the engine to 2500 rpm. I turned around and gazed upon the mammoth Carter-era Mercury. The car outweighed us be 1200 lbs, easy. It's engine was three times bigger than ours. I saw the driver's eyes, burned red by the fuel of rage and automotive aggression. I didn't know Satan liked Mercurys. All I felt was the thumping of my heart, nothing else. At that instant, there were no cars, no dirt track, no crowd, no noise... nothing...

"GREEN FLAG!!! LET'S GET RACING!!!"

I didn't hear the announcement, but I anticipated it. I released the brake and the Dynasty catapulted backwards across the track. The engine wound up like a top. The front tires churned mud, but caught a good grip. The Dodge was at 20 mph when everyone else was spinning tires. The Mercury grew in our rear window. It's massive steel bumper looming over our midsized suicide booth. I thought I should turn around, but I wanted to make sure I got a good hit. I think I hit that Merc doing 35 mph. The impact was as if God had dropped kicked our car straight to Hell. I felt like a mouse in a coffee can as some sadistic kid was shaking the hell out of it. I felt muscles in my torso being stretched and bent in ways they were never supposed to go.  The impact was so great, that the steering wheel bent and the front seat brackets pulled out of the floor. I had slammed the column shift into drive and had the gas down. I glanced at the rearview mirror and found it missing. It turned up later in the backseat. It was automatically printed in my brain to keep the pedal down and just slam it from reverse to drive and back when I wanted to change directions.

I was struggling with putting my brains back in my head. James was yelling something at me, but I still couldn't understand him. The front tires churned mud, trying to break free from the '76 Grand Mess. He had the gas floored, and he was actually pulling us around the track. We were playing "Tug-of-War" of Doom and we were losing. I saw a '78 Pontiac out of my driver's window. He was gunning around the straightaway, trying to get at our radiator. I revved and revved, the tach bumped 6000 rpm. I turned back and from out of nowhere, light a white knight, a big white Cadillac with a plastic hypodermic needle bolted to the roof rammed THROUGH our intertwined cars. He cut through us like a hot knife through butter. Dr. Demo in the #911 car had saved us. The Dodge was freed and the front end quickly dug in. She pulled and pulled, scrambling for every ounce of horsepower that the 3.0L could provide. The "Temp" light flicked on for a second and flicked back off. The Dodge was in motion. That Pontiac presented his driver's quarter panel to me as if to say "Come on, free shot." I gladly obliged. The Pontiac swung away like a door and we kept going, sending pieces of fiberglass flying from the impact. We made a few hits, but I kept the Dodge running. We circled the big pile of cars that had amassed in the center of the track. I turned the corner and slammed a station wagon. IT barely phased the Custom Cruiser. I looked up and the black Pontiac slid into view. The long, black car had its passenger side exposed. I could track shot him in the wheel and put him away for good. It was like an automotive "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly." A swirl of dust kicked up and we locked eyes. The driver of the Pontiac saw my intentions and revved the engine. The rear wheels spun like mad as he presented the big, chrome grille to us. The front end dipped as he goosed the throttle once again. I stabbed the gas and let the V6 ring. I floored it sending the Dodge on a kamikaze run towards All-American glory, fame and fortune or instant death. He sent the Pontiac flying towards us. The big Bonneville loomed over us. I braced for impact and yelled at the top of my lungs.

When I came to, I saw nothing but grey sheetmetal and cracked windshield glass. I smelled the steam, the burnt oil, the unburned fuel, and I could taste the anti-freeze. My brains couldn't form a single thought. My mind was a pile of sludge. I tried to focus. I looked at my cousin. He was holding his helmet and mouthing words. I couldn't focus. "What happened?" "What do I do?!" Uhhh...The dash. The dash. THE DASH! The almighty dash will tell me what to do! I gazed down at the dash. EVERY single warning light was illuminated. It was like a sucker-punch to my thought processes. I looked at the tachometer. 800 rpm. 800 RPM!!!! I yelled out a "WHOOO!!! 800 RPM!!!" to my cousin. He looked at me with a dumbfounded look. His bloodshot eyes pierced my euphoria. I grabbed him by the collar and screamed "800 RPM! The engine's still running!!! WHOOO!!!" I slammed the car in reverse and floored the gas.

I was satisfied in the fact that the Pontiac never moved under it's own power. The engine chugged hard and the car lumbered around the track.  We were basically getting hit, and every once in a while, we would feebly hit another car. I circled the center pile of junk, building speed, looking for that one sweet target in which I can give the Dodge an honorable death. I was peering out from under the hood, barely able to see through the steam and cracks through the windshield. I caught a glimpse of something chrome and moving. I floored the gas and piloted the Dynasty towards the shiny chrome. The Dodge complied and headed towards the light. We hit whatever it was doing 30 mph. There was a teeth-grinding, cataclysmic sound of crunching metal. We flew forward against the seatbelts one last time. The car we hit went up over the engine and opened the front end of the Dodge like a can opener. The tach sunk to 0 RPM. The Dodge was dead. I tried the ignition key. The engine cranked and cranked. I tried repeatedly until my cousin yelled at me to stop. I turned the ignition off and sat back in the upholstered seat. The race went on for another couple of minutes. Mighty Detroit behemoths clashed like rams butting heads. The big V8s spit ungodly noise and fire from the zoomie exhaust pipes.

James and I kept ourselves busy by throwing stuff out the window. The rearview mirror, the ashtray, the wooden stick that was duct taped to the b pillar, indicating we were still in the race, all went out the window. Finally, the race was over. I forgot who won. James and I climbed out of the wreckage. The Dodge was literally squished into half of it's original size. The rear bumper was pushed all the way into the rear axle and the axle was where the rear seat should've been. The front end was peeled away from the bumper. The grille, radiator, core support and the front half of the engine was flattened. The hood was bent in half and leaning against the cracked windshield. Both fenders were obliterated. I could hear my cousin Mike's words playing in my head. "You should've bolted the hood down." It turned out that we rearended a Caprice and it's back end drug over the top of our engine. The distributor cap lay in the mud, useless. The doors would no longer open, considering that they were bent so that daylight showed through the jams. All four tires were flat. IT was no longer a motor vehicle.

The forklift hoisted the pile of scrap that was once a Dodge into the air. Parts fell off the wreckage as it was towed away in view of thousands of screaming fans. They dropped it off in the pits. As a souvenir, I pulled the front right fender off, since it was mostly ripped off, anyways. We stared at the wreckage for some time. I placed my hand on the roof of the battered sedan. "Thanks, friend. You died honorably." James and I turned and walked back to the Caprice, with the sun setting over the Dodge at our backs. The Dynasty had come to and end.

6-14-11
John C Kreuz

'02 Kia Rio A/C compressor

MY cousin's girlfriend's Kia Rio is in need of a new A/C Compressor. He asked me for help a couple days ago. After researching on the internet, I came up with almost nothing. Rob, I can tell you that a new compressor costs around $300. I would try Autozone or maybe a local junkyard. Installation should take about a hour and at the average shop rate, that'd be $80. Then, you are looking at recharging the system once it's installed. You might be looking at $400-$500, depending on who you go to. Stay away from dealers. They charge too much and do the same job as the average corner mechanic (no offense, Greg).

The Rio has a serpentine belt, I think and that means that if the compressor goes, then the belt goes, too. You will instantly feel this when you lose power steering, your temperature gauge goes up and the "battery" or "alternator" light will come on the dash. Pull over and have the car towed to a shop. You will either run the battery dead or the engine will overheat if you keep driving it and that will cause extensive engine damage.

Hope this helps.

Chevy Suburban

The first time I rented a Chevy Suburban was to haul my kid's Cozy Coupes to my mother-in-law's house. Since then, I have rented four. Whenever I need a big SUV, the Suburban is the only one I want. I originally wanted an Escalade, but those require permission from the Area Manager. I had finally gotten permission, but there were no Escalades on the lot. I drove off in a Navigator with 22,000 miles. As stunning of a vehicle as it was, I was quickly dissappointed with it on multiple levels. First, the rear wiper motor didn't work. Second, the tires needed to be balanced. They were the original tires and had not been rotated or balanced. The rear seat center console was cracked and painted over. These are maintanence issues and I really can't hold it against the truck. What I didn't like about the truck itself was not enough pickup, not enough exhaust noise, the transmission hunted for gears on hard acceleration and the handling was very boaty, even for a full-size SUV.

I was very pleased with the styling of the Navigator. The front grille and gauge cluster on the dash reminded me of a mid 60's Continental. The taillights reminded me of an Edsel. I was really impressed with the rear seats. Ford installed power third row 50/50 seats. Just hit two switches and the seats lay down flat. When you fold down the middle seats, there is a flat floor surface. The GMs (Escalade, Yukon, Yukon XL, Tahoe and Suburban), on the other hand, have a second and third row seat that folds down manually and flips up vertically. Once flipped up, the seat can be taken out to provide a flat floor surface. This is still not entirely flat, because the seat tracks are still there. Also, once you start taking seats out, it's far more likely that they won't wind up back in the vehicle, or they may be installed wrong and injure somebody.

Anyways, I traded the 'Gator in for a Chevy Suburban. The first one was grey. Except for the rear seat thing, I enjoyed everything about this truck. The front end was the most conservatively styled out of all the GMs. The dash is well laid out and has a sort of "square-ish" look that I like. The interior is pepper with simulated wood and leather seats. XM radio and a USB port for my IPod kept me and the wife entertained. The USB port and auxillary jack, as well as the 12V power point were all stowed neatly in the center console. I could leave the IPod in the console and out of plain sight. The truck came with a DVD player, which was easy to use. That kept the kids happy. I liked the gauge cluster and the column shifter. Interior space was plentiful and the overall interior was well put together. Nothing seemed cheap or chintsy.

The engine was one of the best parts of the truck. My tester was a 1500 series, so it had a 5.3L v8 engine. When you leaned into the accelerator, you felt the horsepower and torque. The whine of the engine was addicting, too. IT was REALLY hard to save fuel economy and not abuse the truck. The fuel economy was the one bad thing about the truck. I got about 18 to the gallon, which is better than the 17 EPA average economy. The gas tank was massive. Half a tank cost me $50.

It had a ton of room for stuff. I was able to haul 8 people comfortably at one point. At another point, I was able to haul all the supplies and food for my son's first birthday party. All that stuff took up the whole truck. I also used that same Suburban, on a different rent, to tow a tow dolly with my '90 Crown Victoria on it. The Crown Vic weighs about 3800 lbs and the tow dolly must weigh a couple hundred. It towed it fairly well, but I got a lot of swaying at 60 mph. I guess THAT's why they put "Speed Limit 45 MPH" on the dolly. Who'dathunkit? I liked that the trailer hitch was already installed on the bumper with the 7-pin connector and the 4-pin connector. It was very easy and required almost no setup to hook a trailer to it.

My wife used the truck at the birthday party. Her idea was to make the men and women compete amongst themselves in various games for prizes. I thought it would be a disaster, but her family proved me wrong, yet again, and I got the show of a lifetime. Eventhough the actual truck wasn't used in the men's portion of the competition, the truck came in handy for toting all of the bulky equipment for the men's obstacle course. For the men, it was a "women's work" obstacle course. First, the man had to dig through a playpen that was filled with ballons and find the doll with his name on it. Then, he had to strap on an infant carrier and unfold an umbrella stroller and strap the stuffed animal "children" in. He then had to roll the stroller to a highchair and prepare a baby bottle (basically fill it with water) and then roll the stroller to the "dining room table." There, he had to set up four plates and put "food" on each plate. The food was 16 building blocks and the goal was to get four of each color on each plate. All this while the women and children are yelling at the man "I want this!" "I'm not hungry" "Why does he get four and I don't?" sort of things.  The top three fastest times would be declared winners.

I've never seen people take this stuff so seriously. The men were cut-throat about the competition. When the first place winner was announced, he did a victory dance as though he just scored the winner touchdown for the Super Bowl. I had to leave before the women's competition started. The women had to get the fastest times doing the following...

1) Search throughout the whole Suburban to find a toy that is delibrately hidden under clutter.
2) Disassemble and stow a "Pack N' Play" playpen.
3) Disassemble and stow a stroller.
4) Wipe off window marker from a side window.
5) Grab the keys from the roof of the vehicle, get in and honk the horn.

The games were a BIG success and the Suburban was the centerpiece of the activities. The big, white Suburban went down in family history as "the truck that made champions."

I drove the Escalade around the lot, once or twice. IT handled pretty much like the Suburban, but the exhaust noise was much more aggressive than the Suburban. I liked the interior of the Cadillac. The dash was more opulent, but in a tasteful way. The clock in the center of the dash reminded me of a '59 Cadillac. The big navigation screen was cool because it incorporated the Navigation, XM radio, and climate controls.

The two things that turned me off of the 'Sclade was the big "cowcatcher" front end and the center seat was actually buckets. I can't wait for Cadillac to get away from the stacked headlights and "cowcatcher" front end. The middle seat issue is especially concerning to me, since I have two small kids. With the Suburban, my little girl sits behind the driver and my boy sits in the center of the middle seat. This way, I can flip the right middle seat to let people into the third seat and not have to remove the carseats. The Escalade and Navigator don't let you do that. Also, there's less seating capacity. The Suburban is an 8 passenger, while the Escalade is only a 7 passenger. While the Suburban has stock 17" Goodyear Wrangler tires, the Escalades come with 18" or 20" wheels. 17"s are big enough for me. They provide the right amount of sidewall in the tires for comfort and basic handling. The 20s are too wide a wheel diameter and not enough tire. I'd be afraid of hitting a pothole and bending a $300 wheel and $200 tire. The Escalade also has LED taillights.

The Escalade only runs on Mobil 1 synthetic motor oil, while the Suburban runs on... well, whatever (really, it runs on like 5w30 or 10w30regular motor oil, whatever your application is).  The Yukon takes all the ugliness of the Escalade and combines it with the lack of frills from the Suburban to create a shining example of mediocrity. As far as the trucks Hertz orders, the Yukon has power folding mirrors and presets for the driver.

Every now and then, you can find a Hybrid Tahoe on the Hertz lot. It has New York plates, but I won't hold it against the truck. If I ever find that truck again, I will test drive it. It has 18" wheels, a Navigation screen, and it's black with the "HYBRID" graphics on the rocker panels. The problem is that there's no luggage rack or trailer hitch. It has been in the shop at least once. I hope I enjoy it as much as the Suburban

So, in conclusion, for a big honking road machine that'll fit the whole family and tow an old beater Crown Victoria, the Suburban is top-rate in my book. IF you want to pay a lot more for a duded-up very of the 'Burban, try an Escalade. It sounds REALLY cool. If you want the Escalade look, without the Cadillac price, get a Yukon. If you convert the taillights to the Cadillac LEDS (they fit right in), people will mistake it for a Cadillac.

.

Finding a new job.

So, the reason why I haven't been posting in the past couple days is that I've been trying to apply for an Automotive Journalist job at a large website. The ad said that they needed a "brief bio" and three sample articles writed in their "style." I read a few of their articles and they were really dry and full of technical jargon. I could not find any opinions or personal comments on any car they talked about. I thought that this was their style, so I wrote three articles and threw in the Mustang review for fun.

Turns out, THAT's the only review the guy liked. I spent days writing a long bio of myself and scratched it because they wanted a "brief" one. I figured that I would do EXACTLY as they say because I've learned that following directions is the KEY to becoming a success. Once you can follow directions properly, you can give directions.

So, I gave him a copy of the Cadillac review. Hopefully, I will get signed on. I'm not sure how this all works, but I have to keep writing in my own style and I'm sure I'll go far.

It's been a while...

First off, I'd like to apologize for my lack of posts for the past couple days. MY dad came in from out of town and Sam and I have been furiously cleaning the house and yard. I had let the grass grow so long that it took three days to cut the backyard. :P

So, I was tooling around in the Edsel the other day. It left under it's own power, but came back on a tow truck. I'm not sure what's wrong with it. It will idle perfectly, but when you put it in drive or reverse, then it bogs down and dies. I eventually coaxed it into motion and wound it up to about 55 mph down Delany Rd. IT ran rather well when at cruising speeds. When I came to each stoplight, it would idle ok (since I put it in neutral). The light would turn green and I would drop her into drive and the car would bog down again. I feathered the gas until it got moving. I guess a hesitation would be the proper description. It would accelerate with the pedal slightly depressed, but bog when I pushed further.

I'm guessing that plug wires are causing the hesitation. I will put in some new ones and try again. Luckily, I had roadside assistance.

I sold my other Edsel, so I can no longer say that I'm the only one in a 25 mile radius of 60083 who owns a 58 Edsel. :(

My cousin Rob sent me a picture of a wheel on his '03 Cavalier. Apparently, he had bent one of the front wheels on a curb. The dealer bent the wheel back, but it still vibrates. It looks like a steel 14" wheel.

Take it back and have that wheel balanced. If it shows 0.00 ounces on each side of the machine and the wheel still vibrates on the car, rotate it to the rear right. In the rear of a front-wheel drive car, you are least likely to feel any bent wheel/tire problems. If the vibration is STILL too bad, keep that bent wheel as a full-size spare and buy a new/used 14" steel wheel and a new/used 195/70R14 tire.

I recommend using 2" valve stems on ANY steel wheel  (unless it has to clear a thick hubcap like a wire hubcap or an 80's front wheel drive Chrysler K-car product, then you should use 2 1/2" stems).  Getting a junkyard steel wheel should be fine. If it has a tire already on it, check for any nails or screws in the tread, check to see if it has SOME air, and check to see if it has wheel weights already on it. Also, check the tread for ANY uneven tire wear. If it has patches of wear, then it's probably bent, too. IF you can get a wheel separate from the tire, have any rust cleaned off the bead (where the tire meets the wheel) before mounting. This will seal the tire better than if the rust was still there. A wheel usually costs about $10 from the junkyard and a tire will cost $10-$15. A new tire will run at least $50 a piece.

If you plan on buying new tires, I suggest an economy All-Season Radial. I'm particularly fond of the Mastercraft A/S IV. Most economy All-seasons with a 195/70R14 size will have whitewalls, and while I am REALLY fond of whitewalls, it's always YOUR decision whether they face in (hidden) or out (showing). If there is no whitewalls, decorative ribs, or other markings like "This side facing outwards" or "Direction of Rotation", then you can face the DOT date codes outwards. The date codes tell you when the tire was stamped. For instance, the front tires on my wife's Corolla have "YOUJ YP5M 3808" stamped on the sidewall. The first and second set of characters designate stuff like manufacturer, brand, size, etc. The "3808" means that the tire was stamped on the 38th week of 2008. On MOST tires, the date only shows up on one side of the tire. I like to mount them facing out as so that a person can look at the tire and know when it was produced. This decreases the chances of the tire company selling you older tires that were sitting on a shelf for a couple years. Also, you can debunk a person's story when you are buying a used car and they say something like "I just put new tires on it." Just because they tire is shiny and looks like it has deep tread, doesn't mean it that the steel belts are in good shape.

On a side note, you can replace a 195/70R14 with a 185/75R14. The tread is a little thinner but there is virtually no height difference between the two. 185/75R14 tires are usually cheaper by $5 or so.

To sum it all up for my cousin, have the tire balanced is first step. Rotate it to the back is the second step. If all else fails, save that wheel, but buy a new/used tire and wheel of the same size.

Also, On an unrelated note, I was able to "test drive" the new Dodge Charger. It was only on the Hertz lot, but I whomped on it a little. The first thing I noticed about the car was that the fit and finish was exceptional on this car. It seemed to be put together very well. I sat down in the cloth driver's seat and started my usual adjustment ritual. First, I scoot the passenger seat all the way back and put the headrest down to it's lowest setting. Next, I scoot the driver's seat back and down to the floor and put the headrest down. Then, I adjust the steering column so it's all the way up and all the way out. I like sitting far back in the seat, but having the seatback upright, so that I'm not laying down in the car. Having the wheel adjusted closest to me allows for more leverage when turning the wheel. The straighter you arms are, the less leverage you have to quickly turn the wheel.

One thing that still bothers me is that the passenger seat doesn't scoot as far back as the driver's seat. I tested this on three separate cars. When they are all the way back, the seat bottoms should line up. Strange.

I pushed the start button and the engine fired with a healthy roar. The dash was setup nicely, but I REALLY hated the radio and climate controls. Most of them are on this little touch screen in the center of the dash. I searched for five minutes trying to find the on/off for the radio. I finally found it, but not on the touch screen, where one would THINK it should be. It was down towards the bottom of the center stack. There was just an on/off button for radio controls. I believe there was one for the climate control, but I can't really remember. The gauges were kind of small, but they were backlit really well. The center screen could be switched to whatever you want to look at (vehicle speed, fuel economy, etc). Somebody turned the brightness of the gauges all the way down and I originally thought that the lights were burnt out.

The car definitely had a "big car" feel to it, but for my low-speed maneuvers, it was fairly tight. The V6 engine responded well. It had a lot of guts, but there was some hesitation. I experienced this before in a '07 Chrysler 300. I was told that it was from the "Drive-By-Wire" system that they have. Basically, there is no throttle linkage. There's a sensor in the gas pedal and an electric motor at the throttle body. The more the pedal is pushed down, the more the throttle opens up.

The backseat was comfortable for a 6'3" guy like myself. I like that the rear headrests don't get in the way of the rear window view. Also, I think they are non-adjustable, which is great for me, since I don't like using headrests anyways. The trunk seemed spacious enough, but I had nothing to put in there for any kind of "test."

Overall, the car is a flashy, big car. Lots of pep, nice body lines, lots of LED lights, and some strange engineering. I'm still looking forward to renting one for the weekend.

Cadillac DTS

When I first started renting cars from Hertz, my choice was always a Mercury Grand Marquis or Lincoln Town Car. I have been driving Panther platform cars since my first car in 1998 ('85 LTD Crown Victoria) and felt comfortable in them. In reality, I was just not trying anything new. First, was the Grand Marquis. A fine sedan, but it lacked speed, agility, technology, and economy. The Town Car was virtually the same, except the center of the "bench" seat (if you even can call it that) was impossible for a fully-grown human being to sit on. It was like sitting on a brick. I remember, a long time ago, I had a '84 Buick LeSabre Limited and I had six full-grown adults sitting in the car and everybody was comfortable. The car looked like somebody had turned a demolition derby car into a lowrider. The Merc and Lincoln also lacked basic things like Sirius radio and a USB port. There was no way to disconnect the antenna so that I could plug in my Ipod adapter thing (it finds a dead station and plays the Ipod over that frequency, but if the radio is too good, then there are no truly dead stations and you pick up interference.) Also, with the technology that they put into the Mustang to get 300 hp and 30 mpg, you'd think they'd apply it towards their flagship cars. If I were in charge of Mercury, it would be a viable and thriving division.

Anyways, this left me looking for other full-size car options. Hertz didn't have Chargers at the time, and an Impala is FAR from a full-size car. The last REAL Impala, in my opinion, was built in 1996. So, my only other option was the Cadillac DTS (unless I wanted to go Japanese). I knew fully well that a DTS is basically an elongated Impala or Lucerne, but it had a V8, XM and even a sunroof, so I tried it out.

It was a chilly night, peppered with cold drizzle. I needed the car for one of the in-law's fancy Indian parties. I like going to these events because of the spicy food, good conversation, great people and I usually get to watch goofy 70s Indo-Pak Kung-fu rip off movies, Hilarious! The problem with my wife's side of the family is that everybody is "keepin' up with the Jones'." If you have a Camry, somebody rolls up in a ES350. If you have a G35, somebody has a M-series Infiniti. IT's not so bad if you roll up in a Corolla, but I was driving a beat-up '84 Buick LeSabre (a different one from the previous paragraphs) that had sagging springs and rusty rockers. It was dirt brown with a burgundy driver's door and the engine would diesel on after the key was turned off. It was like Uncle Buck traded in his '76 Marquis for my Buick. We were discussing which car to go to the party in and I turned to the Buick. I turned back to my wife and she didn't have to say a word... but she did. "Honey, I love you, but NO!" I could swear that as she said that, pieces of rust fell off the car.

So, there I was at the counter. I had gotten permission from the lot manager to rent a "Prestige Collection" car. It's that big of a deal to rent one. I was practically drooling over the keys and in my head I was going "GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!!!" I got the insurance in case I had to return the car on a tow truck or in a bucket and signed the agreement. It was in the Gold section, so I never got rained on and the car was nice and dry. I never really realized the luxury of having covered  lots until I needed a rental car in the rain. I looked to the right and noticed the National Alamo customers scrambling from the bus to their cars. On my left, Avis Budget was identical. I calmly strolled to the car and surveyed the brilliant machine.

Since I was behind the car, I started from there. The taillights screamed "Cadillac" since they were vertical and thin. I later found out that they were LEDs and very impressive at night. The greenhouse of the car was conservatively designed. The bodylines were simple and completed the look of the car. I would've liked to have seen some more subtle touches of chrom around the windows or door sills. From the firewall to the rear bumper, the car was well proportioned, but when I stepped out in front of that gawdy "cow-catcher" front end, I was not pleased.

The only Cadillacs I ever owned were 2 '88 front-drive DeVilles, an '85 Eldorado, and a '79 Fleetwood. All of those Caddys had strong, prominent front ends. The front of the '79 looked like you were about to get hit by Alcatraz. The new Caddy's front end looked rather low and small compared to the rest of the car. I also, don't like the stacked headlights. They didn't look right on a '68 Fleetwood and they don't look good on any other Cadillac. The rims were 18" polished aluminum wheels with Michelin tires. They looked appropriate for the car. I usually like whitewalls and wire hubcaps, but I will give anybody $100 if they find me 18" wire hubcaps.

The key fob was interesting. It was a square, little thing with tapered sides. Faux stainless caps kept all the guts from falling out and the Cadillac crest gleamed under the florescent lighting. The LEDs lit up when I unlocked the doors. I slid into the car and was impressed by the fit and finish of the interior. Being used to fabric, leather, and chrome interiors from the 80s Cadillacs, the interior was rather refreshing. I would've killed somebody for a bench seat and column shifter up front, but I realized that I'm probably the ONLY person in the world who would wish for that. Besides, the cupholders were right in the center console and I could hide my Ipod in the center. Unfortunately, The DTS has no USB cable and I didn't have the other jack for my IPOD so I was S.O.L., but I had the XM radio. I like the Blue Collar Comedy Station. I slid the key into the cylinder and cranked the engine up. I never opened the hood, but I'm pretty sure it's a Northstar V8 engine. It had an EXCELLENT exhaust tone. I wanted to cram the engine in the Buick and weld the mufflers up underneath. I goosed the gas a couple times for fun. I adjusted all my seats, belts, headrests, steering wheel, mirrors, turned the climate control to 72 defrost, set my XM and FM stations and relaxed in the leather seat. Once again, I felt like something was amiss. Being used to cushy pillow seats, the sleak, european leather seats in the Caddy were somewhat alien to me. I was also not impressed with the steering column. I would've thought that Cadillac would have installed a telescopic steering wheel in their latest cars, considering that my '79 had one. Apparently, they didn't on this trim level. I found out later that they offered the DTS with a power tilt and telescopic wheel, display screen, rear power lumbar and lane entrance assist. Before I left the parking space, I realized that I felt like I was sitting in a '09 Impala instead of a DTS. There's almost NO difference to me. I was rather dejected from that. Hopefully, that exhaust has some power to back it up. That'd cheer me up.

I eased out of the parking space and found the one REAL downside to the DTS. If you ignore everything I have said up to this point, don't ignore this. The turn-radius sucks. I had a '77 Town Car that turned better than the DTS. I had to back up and do it again. I eased the car through the security gate. The security girl was off and the short, fat guy in the booth gave me my agreement and bid me farewell. I eased it up to the first traffic light and waited. I was gonna wail on this Cadillac. I wanted to feel good that day and I needed some automotive thereapy. I turned off the traction control. The cross lights turned yellow, then red. I released the brake... milliseconds seemed like eons. I gripped the leather wrapped wheel. Sweat on my brow, I licked my lips in anticipation. I think I stopped breathing...

GREEN LIGHT!!!

I stomped that accelerator into the floor and I saw God. The front tires lit up in a fury of screeches and smoke. I turned the wheel to the left, but I realized that I was in a front-wheel drive car and it kept on going straight. The Northstar's roar was like the siren's song from the Blessed Lady of Acceleration. I rode it for as long as I could, but I had to release the gas lest I get arrested for trespassing on government property. The front wheels caught traction and jerked the front end to the left, narrowly avoiding the razor wire, chain-link fence that separated me from the O'Hare international airport. I leaned on the gas and hurdled down Bessie Coleman drive. Every chance I got, I dug into the gas, just to make her sing. It was Nirvana.

After getting all the high performance jack-assery out of my system, I got on the highway and set the cruise for 60 and headed home. All the options and gizmos that GM had to offer were like pearls before swine. I was never gonna use the heated seats or sync my phone to the car, or whatever else you could do with it. I just needed cruise, defrost and XM. I cursed mother nature for making it too cold and rainy for the sunroof. The ride was superb. I cannot lie, it was the SMOOTHEST riding car I've ever driven (except for my '84 Custom Cruiser.) The handling was not what you'd expect from a "big" sedan. It didn't have the usual banking, pitching and yawing around turns that a Grand Marquis would have. The suspension had just the right amount of give to make the ride comfortable, yet neat and tidy. I sat back and relaxed and let the miles slide underneath the tires.

The Caddy was a big hit at the party. It had Illinois plates, so nobody suspected it was a rental, but I figured that I'd have to tell them, or else I'd be doomed to renting one every time I see them. There's was plenty of room for the kid's carseats. There was plenty of trunkspace to fit the double stroller. My little girl's impression of the car was summed up in a two word sentence. "Big car." The majority of her automotive experience was in the back of an '04 Corolla. She was too young when she rode in the '68 Imperial, or the '84 Custom Cruiser, so she doesn't know big cars, yet.

On the way back to return the car, I burned some more rubber, but found the torque-steer to be too great. I vowed that the next time I pray to God, I will pray that they make a Fleetwood again with the engine from the DTS and make it rear-wheel drive with optional all-wheel drive. I want a "Caddy that Zigs" but I want it to be a big Cadillac, like they are supposed to be.

I returned the Cadillac without any remorse. It was a great car. I loved the power and feel of the engine and the car was very well put together. I just expected a Cadillac to be more... well... Cadillac-ish. It's a good replacement for somebody wanting a Grand Marquis or Town Car but also wants to be a part of the 21st century.

5-31-11

John C Kreuz



New Dodge Chargers at Hertz!!!

I'm so excited that Hertz O'Hare has acquired about 20 new Dodge Charger sedans. They are all V6s with 17" wheels, but I'm giddy as a schoolboy who found his Dad's Playboy Magazine.

This year's model has definitely gained some weight. The older model had a slimmer design, but the new model 's side panels make the car look somewhat fat, for lack of a better word. The front end doesn't seem as "truck-ish" as the previous model, but the protruding grille reminds me more of Shelby Cobra or a big-mouth bass rather than a family sedan. The roofline is also an improvement from last year. Last year's model had a confusing roofline that made the car appear as though it should be driven in reverse. This one reminds me of a Mitsubishi Galant (which is not the feelings that a Dodge Charger should invoke).  I REALLY dig the rear taillight assembly on the new model. The LEDs are a bit overwhelming, but they have a definite "WOW" factor. I like that the trim levels that Hertz got (I'm not sure what they are called, but they have to be on the same line as the Challenger SE) had 17" tires. They are 215/65R17s, but I do not remember the make. As far as tires go, 17 inch tires are the new 15s. They are not as cheap as a set of 215/75R15 whitewalls, but they are cheaper than a set of 20s.

The car is attractive, overall, but It's my opinion that Dodge missed the mark on styling. I would like to have seen a wide, rectangular front end with four circle headlights either bare or with hideaway doors. I would like to have seen more of the overall shape of a '69 Charger throughout the car, or maybe dust off the "turbine engine" styling of the late 60's and early 70's that Chrysler used on everything from Challengers to Imperials.

Finally, the thing that has always bothered me about the Charger is the name. When I think "CHARGER", visions of the "Dukes of Hazard" and "Bullitt" come into my head. Two-door, aggressively styled, long and lean muscle cars are what Chargers should be, not the average family sedan. I think that Dodge should've held the Charger only as a sporty, two-door version of the current Charger and the four-door should've been called something else (Monaco, Polara, whatever. Anything except "Intrepid." The only thing "Intrepid" about the Intrepid was it's multiple trips to the transmission shop and final trip to the junkyard.) Regardless, the Charger name is here to stay and I want to focus on the car itself, not the name.

I was able to drive the previous Charger V6 around the lot and it seemed to be a capable car. The V6 had a lot of guts. I'm hoping that this year's car has the same aggression under the hood as it does in the styling. We'll see.

5-29-11
John C Kreuz

Mustang Review

 As an employee of Hertz Rent-A-Car, I get a discount on renting vehicles. I've NEVER known automotive bliss until I drove the 2011 Mustang Convertible. All summer long, I requested a weekend with a Mustang and I was denied due to seasonal demand. The magical brilliance of summer faded. The air became crisp. My hopes for driving the Mustang became tainted like the leaves on the trees. Just as the leaves were ready to fall from their branchy confines, I asked one last time. The area manager had given me the OK! I was elated as a little boy who had just received a new toy car. I left the office and proceeded to slot 63. There it was, a bastion of classic Detroit Muscle car era styling adrift in a sea of foreign midsize snooze-booths. Mine was royal blue (almost purple) with white side stripes, light colored interior and a black convertible top.

 The car was aggressively styled, as though it was a racing steed eagerly awaiting the opening of the gate. The massive front end jutted out prominently as though it were designed to cut through the quagmire of midday suburban commuting, a paintbrush to apply strokes of freedom and independence to a 35 mph canvas. Being a big guy myself, I found it slightly problematic entering the pristine machine. Once settled, I found the interior to be just as amazing as the outside. The gauges lit up with the opening of the door. One glance at them and it invoked a certain deja vu from all the classic car shows I went to as a kid. I felt as though I was just a boy peering into the window of a '68 Fastback at the local hot dog place. The gauge cluster was well laid out and I loved the fact that you can change the gauge cluster and halo colors, as well as the ambient interior light colors. I chose blue for my Mustang since it matched the outside.

 The key slid into the lock cylinder with ease. I was greeted with a conservative warning chime as I turned the key over the clunky stops. The gauges did a sweep to remind me that I was sitting in a 2011 Mustang instead of a '68. The V6 engine turned over under the big, long hood. The tailpipes burped out a healthy roar as the motor came to life. It idled smoothly, but had a nice exhaust tone that was faint with the windows and top up. I adjusted my mirrors, seats, and stuff (since I'm a car shtickler, according to my wife. She says that I have to have everything my way in every car I sit in). I turned my attention to the clustered center stack. I have to admit that the radio and climate controls seemed awkward and the buttons overwhelming. The climate controls were hard to get to with the shifter in park. It took a minute or two to acclimate myself, but once I knew where everything was, it was easy to set my favorite Sirius radio stations. It was easy as pie to sync up my Ipod to the Audiophile system. I was able to hide the Ipod in the center console, which was very ample for CDs and receipts and other miscellaneous garbage that seems to accumulate in mine and my wife's cars. I reset the "TRIP A" on the dashboard to see how many miles I would take her. I sat back in the leather seats, which felt to me as though they were custom built to my body, and breathed a sigh of relief and accomplishment. I was about ready to place the leather wrapped shifter into drive when I realized something totally obvious that I had overlooked. Duh! I was in a convertible. Putting the top down was a snap. Behind the visors are two handles. I pulled the handles and pushed the button with the convertible top going down icon and like magic, all four windows went down and the top followed. In a matter of seconds, the Gold Club canopy of the Hertz rental car facility was looming over my head as if to say "Hey, The view is better on the open road. Get moving!" So I plopped the shifter into drive and eased out of the slot.

 Being an employee, it wouldn't be wise to go hot-rodding on the lot. The security girl at the gate gave me a wink as she handed back the agreement and I rumbled to the first stop light. I was laughing like Beavis when the light turned green. I figured that since it's only a V6, it shouldn't be too peppy. I turned off the traction control and decided to get a little irresponsible. I stomped the accelerator and was thrown back into my seat as the rear 17" tires lit up, billowing smoke into the sky. I urged the front end to the left and the rear end swung wide to the right. I drifted that car around the Corollas and Impalas, noting their expressions of awe and disdain. After completing my power slide, the car righted itself and regained a stately, subtle composure as if to say "Huh? What power slide? I don't know what you're talkin' about!" I took it easy until I got to the entrance ramp for 190 East towards Chicago. I hammered it again and the mighty blue steed slid its way up the ramp and righted itself on the merging lane. I was met with a slew of Chicago taxi cabs. I know for a fact that these suicide jockeys don't yield to anything. They will bury that raggedy old, rustbucket, hacked up, deathtrap Crown Victoria Police Interceptor right into your vehicle without hesitation. I also, am somewhat of a hammerhead and I wasn't about to yield to the faded yellow beater taxi. He stomped the gas on his 4.6L interceptor engine and he rocketed ahead with a sickly roar, trailing blue smoke in his wake. Not to be outdone, I put the spurs to the Mustang. I have NEVER felt that kind of acceleration and torque from a V6 in my life. I easily paced the battered Vic. As the lane was ending, I couldn't help myself. I gave a little wave bye-bye and floored the gas. It had seemed that the Stang had a little reserve of power just waiting for me to break the glass "in case of emergencies." I hit the signal, lighting up the VERY COOL sequential turn signals and merged victorious. I set the cruise at 60 and completed my 35 mile commute. People stared at me like I was from Mars. It was 40 degrees out and I was cruising along with the top down and the defroster on. :)

 The next day, I was looking for a reason to take the Mustang out and I had the two rental car seats in the back. "Hey, honey. Let's go to the toy store. We'll take the kids. It'll be fun." We loaded up the kids in the shiny Mustang. My 2 1/2 year old daughter said "Little car", noting that the interior is smaller than my wife's '04 Corolla LE. We shoehorned the kids in the back. My 1 1/2 year old boy was stoic, unimpressed by the flash and pizazz of the shiny new car. He was still reveling in his post-lunch euphoria. I noticed the two downfalls of the mighty Mustang, Rear-seat room and trunk space. My little girl had no room for her feet. She laughed anyways, since it was a new car, but I could tell that this would be a problem. Regardless, we hopped in the car and fired her up. Once again, the top went down. My little girl's eyes went wide as dinner plates as the top disappeared. She had NEVER been in a convertible before. Instantly, she pointed to the heavens and blurted out "birdies!" The seagulls were less than impressed with their new fan. I treated the mustang nice for the rest of the weekend. The cold was too much for the kids. MY girl laughed, but my boy was looking at me, squinting through the wind as if to say "Dis is not-a fun. Yoo sed ders gonna be chicken nuggets on dis ride. It is too coldz for no-roof drivin'." I pulled over and put up the top. With the top up, it felt like we were driving a hardtop Mustang. No wind noise, no heat loss. It was a very pleasant ride. At the toy store, we had to divide the kids up, since there was no room for our big double-stroller (I call it the Cadillac). I bought a Hot Wheels '11 Mustang GT hardtop. It was blue with white side stripes.

 The day that I had to return the car was a sad day for me. I beat on her some more to get it all out of my system. Drifting around turns, peel outs, and a lot of aggressive driving. On the highway, I never took it over 70 except for once. The car handled high speed situations like a '68 Chrysler Imperial, except without the "Ahoy, matey!" feel. I pulled into the gas station to refill the car before returning it to the facility. I topped off the tank and reset the "Trip A." I calculated the average miles per gallon for the weekend. Guess what I came up with? I got 28 miles to the gallon! I was shocked. After all that whipping around and flogging the V6, I got almost the same MPG as my wife's Corolla (since she always uses the A/C or Defrost). Flabbergasted, I brought the car back into the return lane. The representative scanned the car and printed my receipt and asked "How was your Hertz rental experience, today?" I, for one of the few times in my life, was speechless. There I stood agape, staring blankly at this woman, with my hair all messed up from the top being down (I returned it down.) After a pause, I could only come up with one word to describe my Mustang experience...
"Awesome."

John C Kreuz
5-19-11