Chevy Suburban

The first time I rented a Chevy Suburban was to haul my kid's Cozy Coupes to my mother-in-law's house. Since then, I have rented four. Whenever I need a big SUV, the Suburban is the only one I want. I originally wanted an Escalade, but those require permission from the Area Manager. I had finally gotten permission, but there were no Escalades on the lot. I drove off in a Navigator with 22,000 miles. As stunning of a vehicle as it was, I was quickly dissappointed with it on multiple levels. First, the rear wiper motor didn't work. Second, the tires needed to be balanced. They were the original tires and had not been rotated or balanced. The rear seat center console was cracked and painted over. These are maintanence issues and I really can't hold it against the truck. What I didn't like about the truck itself was not enough pickup, not enough exhaust noise, the transmission hunted for gears on hard acceleration and the handling was very boaty, even for a full-size SUV.

I was very pleased with the styling of the Navigator. The front grille and gauge cluster on the dash reminded me of a mid 60's Continental. The taillights reminded me of an Edsel. I was really impressed with the rear seats. Ford installed power third row 50/50 seats. Just hit two switches and the seats lay down flat. When you fold down the middle seats, there is a flat floor surface. The GMs (Escalade, Yukon, Yukon XL, Tahoe and Suburban), on the other hand, have a second and third row seat that folds down manually and flips up vertically. Once flipped up, the seat can be taken out to provide a flat floor surface. This is still not entirely flat, because the seat tracks are still there. Also, once you start taking seats out, it's far more likely that they won't wind up back in the vehicle, or they may be installed wrong and injure somebody.

Anyways, I traded the 'Gator in for a Chevy Suburban. The first one was grey. Except for the rear seat thing, I enjoyed everything about this truck. The front end was the most conservatively styled out of all the GMs. The dash is well laid out and has a sort of "square-ish" look that I like. The interior is pepper with simulated wood and leather seats. XM radio and a USB port for my IPod kept me and the wife entertained. The USB port and auxillary jack, as well as the 12V power point were all stowed neatly in the center console. I could leave the IPod in the console and out of plain sight. The truck came with a DVD player, which was easy to use. That kept the kids happy. I liked the gauge cluster and the column shifter. Interior space was plentiful and the overall interior was well put together. Nothing seemed cheap or chintsy.

The engine was one of the best parts of the truck. My tester was a 1500 series, so it had a 5.3L v8 engine. When you leaned into the accelerator, you felt the horsepower and torque. The whine of the engine was addicting, too. IT was REALLY hard to save fuel economy and not abuse the truck. The fuel economy was the one bad thing about the truck. I got about 18 to the gallon, which is better than the 17 EPA average economy. The gas tank was massive. Half a tank cost me $50.

It had a ton of room for stuff. I was able to haul 8 people comfortably at one point. At another point, I was able to haul all the supplies and food for my son's first birthday party. All that stuff took up the whole truck. I also used that same Suburban, on a different rent, to tow a tow dolly with my '90 Crown Victoria on it. The Crown Vic weighs about 3800 lbs and the tow dolly must weigh a couple hundred. It towed it fairly well, but I got a lot of swaying at 60 mph. I guess THAT's why they put "Speed Limit 45 MPH" on the dolly. Who'dathunkit? I liked that the trailer hitch was already installed on the bumper with the 7-pin connector and the 4-pin connector. It was very easy and required almost no setup to hook a trailer to it.

My wife used the truck at the birthday party. Her idea was to make the men and women compete amongst themselves in various games for prizes. I thought it would be a disaster, but her family proved me wrong, yet again, and I got the show of a lifetime. Eventhough the actual truck wasn't used in the men's portion of the competition, the truck came in handy for toting all of the bulky equipment for the men's obstacle course. For the men, it was a "women's work" obstacle course. First, the man had to dig through a playpen that was filled with ballons and find the doll with his name on it. Then, he had to strap on an infant carrier and unfold an umbrella stroller and strap the stuffed animal "children" in. He then had to roll the stroller to a highchair and prepare a baby bottle (basically fill it with water) and then roll the stroller to the "dining room table." There, he had to set up four plates and put "food" on each plate. The food was 16 building blocks and the goal was to get four of each color on each plate. All this while the women and children are yelling at the man "I want this!" "I'm not hungry" "Why does he get four and I don't?" sort of things.  The top three fastest times would be declared winners.

I've never seen people take this stuff so seriously. The men were cut-throat about the competition. When the first place winner was announced, he did a victory dance as though he just scored the winner touchdown for the Super Bowl. I had to leave before the women's competition started. The women had to get the fastest times doing the following...

1) Search throughout the whole Suburban to find a toy that is delibrately hidden under clutter.
2) Disassemble and stow a "Pack N' Play" playpen.
3) Disassemble and stow a stroller.
4) Wipe off window marker from a side window.
5) Grab the keys from the roof of the vehicle, get in and honk the horn.

The games were a BIG success and the Suburban was the centerpiece of the activities. The big, white Suburban went down in family history as "the truck that made champions."

I drove the Escalade around the lot, once or twice. IT handled pretty much like the Suburban, but the exhaust noise was much more aggressive than the Suburban. I liked the interior of the Cadillac. The dash was more opulent, but in a tasteful way. The clock in the center of the dash reminded me of a '59 Cadillac. The big navigation screen was cool because it incorporated the Navigation, XM radio, and climate controls.

The two things that turned me off of the 'Sclade was the big "cowcatcher" front end and the center seat was actually buckets. I can't wait for Cadillac to get away from the stacked headlights and "cowcatcher" front end. The middle seat issue is especially concerning to me, since I have two small kids. With the Suburban, my little girl sits behind the driver and my boy sits in the center of the middle seat. This way, I can flip the right middle seat to let people into the third seat and not have to remove the carseats. The Escalade and Navigator don't let you do that. Also, there's less seating capacity. The Suburban is an 8 passenger, while the Escalade is only a 7 passenger. While the Suburban has stock 17" Goodyear Wrangler tires, the Escalades come with 18" or 20" wheels. 17"s are big enough for me. They provide the right amount of sidewall in the tires for comfort and basic handling. The 20s are too wide a wheel diameter and not enough tire. I'd be afraid of hitting a pothole and bending a $300 wheel and $200 tire. The Escalade also has LED taillights.

The Escalade only runs on Mobil 1 synthetic motor oil, while the Suburban runs on... well, whatever (really, it runs on like 5w30 or 10w30regular motor oil, whatever your application is).  The Yukon takes all the ugliness of the Escalade and combines it with the lack of frills from the Suburban to create a shining example of mediocrity. As far as the trucks Hertz orders, the Yukon has power folding mirrors and presets for the driver.

Every now and then, you can find a Hybrid Tahoe on the Hertz lot. It has New York plates, but I won't hold it against the truck. If I ever find that truck again, I will test drive it. It has 18" wheels, a Navigation screen, and it's black with the "HYBRID" graphics on the rocker panels. The problem is that there's no luggage rack or trailer hitch. It has been in the shop at least once. I hope I enjoy it as much as the Suburban

So, in conclusion, for a big honking road machine that'll fit the whole family and tow an old beater Crown Victoria, the Suburban is top-rate in my book. IF you want to pay a lot more for a duded-up very of the 'Burban, try an Escalade. It sounds REALLY cool. If you want the Escalade look, without the Cadillac price, get a Yukon. If you convert the taillights to the Cadillac LEDS (they fit right in), people will mistake it for a Cadillac.

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